When 53-year-old Joel Omweri from Kenyenya Sub-County in Kisii first began complaining of hand cramps in 2002, his wife, Mary Nyabeta, who was aged 51 years at the time, did not think much of it.
The couple did not know that this ailment was the onset of a 22-year journey of caregiving, personal endurance, and quiet sacrifice.
Nyabeta narrates to KNA how at first, the signs started subtly: small tremors, stiffness, and a growing difficulty in picking tea leaves on their farm in rural Kenya. By 2004, the symptoms had intensified.
She says her husband’s movements had slowed down, his stride faltered, and the once-energetic farmer grew weaker by the day. Hospital visits became frequent, but conclusive answers were few.
Nyabeta says they opted to seek further treatment at Tenwek Mission Hospital, where they finally got a diagnosis: Parkinson’s disease.
Omweri then started his treatment with Sinemet to alleviate the symptoms.
For a short interlude, the medication gave them hope, and the 53-year-old could move almost normally on some occasions, but as time went on, the disease advanced.
His muscles stiffened, his speech weakened, and his hands shook uncontrollably. Soon, his wife was feeding him, bathing him, and turning him in bed at night.
What had started as acts of care gradually became a full-time responsibility, one that defined Nyabeta’s life for more than two decades.
Owing to the demands of tending to her husband round the clock, her world shrank, and this was evident by the trips to the market, which stopped; conversations with friends, which faded; and days, which turned into years spent within the same compound.
Nyabeta focused entirely on her spouse’s needs, ensuring that he ate, took his medicine, and stayed comfortable. The passage of time became measured in his good and bad days rather than months or seasons.
The couple had married in 1969, raising six children together, and their faith strengthened when they became born-again Christians in 1982.
Whenever exhaustion and loneliness crept in, Nyabeta says that she reminded herself of their nuptial vows and God, whom she believed carried her through the odyssey.
Even as Omweri’s body weakened with the passing of time, his mind remained sharp, and they continued making family decisions together, guiding their children as one.
Life on the farm became harder. With Omweri unable to work, Nyabeta recounts relying on their tea and coffee plantations for everything.
Each tablet of his medication cost about Sh80 to Sh90, and when money ran out, she borrowed. Missing even one dose meant a rapid decline in his ability to function.
She spent long and sleepless nights, often interrupted by the need to turn him in bed. Yet, through it all, her devotion never wavered.
Nyabeta says she loved her husband like a child, never harboring negative thoughts despite the relentless strain his condition had put her through.
Two weeks before his passing in November 2024, she recalls Omweri resisting another hospital visit due to the tiring endless medications.
That morning, she says, he announced he was finally ready. Nyabeta helped him prepare, dressed him, and gave him the small bundle of money he liked to keep by his side. Hours later, he was gone.
In the months that followed, she found herself surrounded by silence. The routines that once filled her days vanished, leaving a hollow stillness that she did not know how to fill.
According to Nyabeta, true marriage demands certainty and intention, the willingness to stand beside each other through sickness and loss.
Looking back, she sees not only pain but purpose, a life shaped by love that endured the slow unraveling of time and strength.
Despite all this, Nyabeta says she misses him every day and remains thankful for the years they shared, knowing she gave her all and would do it all again given a second chance.
“Take care of your husband and don’t complain. Even when it’s hard, keep caring. God will take care of you,” she advises.
Counselling psychologist Benson Nyagaka says caregiving, though noble, silently tests the limits of human endurance.
Nyagaka notes that many caregivers find themselves torn between love and despair as they shoulder responsibilities that stretch their emotional and physical strength.
Constant vigilance managing medication, preventing falls, and attending hospital appointments raises stress hormones and disrupts sleep, often leading to burnout.
Over time, caregivers experience what psychologists call anticipatory grief, mourning the gradual loss of a loved one’s independence and personality long before their passing.
Nyagaka adds that the signs of strain begin subtly with fatigue, headaches, and poor sleep but can quickly evolve into irritability, hopelessness, and emotional numbness.
He says that some caregivers withdraw from friends, neglect their own health, or rely on medication or alcohol to cope.
“The social cost can be just as profound. Many drift away from community life, and family ties may become strained. Over time, caregivers risk losing their own identity, being seen only in relation to the person they care for,” the psychologist adds.
Despite the strain, Nyagaka believes caregiving can remain meaningful when balance and support are maintained.
He urges caregivers to seek emotional support, take short breaks, and turn to prayer, exercise vigilance, or go for counseling to manage stress and grief.
Nyagaka also highlights the need for stronger policy frameworks to support families dealing with chronic illness, noting that caregivers are often the invisible patients, quietly bearing the weight of illness beside those they love.
“You cannot pour from an empty cup,” he says, alluding to the emotional drain that is the toll on caregivers.
According to a Parkinson’s disease publication, Hope Through Research, by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (2020), Parkinson’s disease is a progressive movement disorder that affects the nervous system.
It develops when nerve cells in the brain responsible for producing dopamine, a chemical crucial for movement, begin to die or malfunction.
Tremors often start in one hand, muscles stiffen, balance is lost, and movement slows.
Symptoms usually begin on one side of the body before spreading to both, gradually affecting the ability to perform even simple daily tasks like eating or dressing.
The disease also brings changes beyond movement. Depression, speech difficulties, bladder or bowel problems, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and, in later stages, dementia and hallucinations can occur.
Medications used to control tremors may cause additional side effects. The average age of onset is around 70, though some people develop symptoms earlier.
Studies suggest higher risks for those exposed to pesticides or with certain genetic mutations.
World Health Organization global estimates (2019) showed that over 8.5 million individuals suffered from Parkinson’s disease, which caused 329,000 deaths.
While there is no cure, medications and sometimes surgery can ease symptoms and improve quality of life.
Exercise, nutrition, and emotional support are key to maintaining mobility and independence.
Though Parkinson’s progresses slowly, it gradually alters daily routines, relationships, and identity.
Support groups and community programs are essential for patients and caregivers, offering information, guidance, and a sense of shared experience.
Caregiving, though heavily demanding, can reveal the deepest form of devotion. It is love stripped of comfort, defined by patience, faith, and the will to stay the course even if it means 22 years of unwavering care.
By Sophia Matoya
